


Wrong Guy

by Rexxy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Date, James prying for no good reason, Jealousy, M/M, Remus being a little shit, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 02:20:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7248214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rexxy/pseuds/Rexxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius insists on keeping his and Remus’ relationship a secret, so when Remus declines a date to Hogsmeade with Meadows for a guy, James wants to know who. Remus had to lie, of course, leading to an awkward situation in which he was on a date with the wrong guy with a jealous Sirius trailing behind glaring daggers at him the whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Remus was sat in the common room by himself, as he usually was, waiting for Sirius to come back from his third detention of the week. He was peacefully sat reading a passage about some sort of goblin treaty when Lily’s friend Dorcas Meadows sauntered over to him, all hair flicking about and swishing her hips in what she probably thought was attractive. He assumed she was coming over for further help with her Arithmancy homework, as she often came to Remus for, and he was fully prepared to help her. So, when the words, “Hi, Remus. I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go Hogsmeade with me this Saturday you know, like, on a date?” came from her, his brain short circuited a bit. He had already planned to sneak up to the tower with Sirius while the trip was on, and the thought that they would have any problems with that hadn’t crossed his mind.

You see Remus was a very planned out kind of man. He liked to have things worked out in his head before they happened so he was fully and mentally prepared for anything the world had to throw at him. What he couldn’t comprehend, however, was how somebody of the fairer sex could possibly have an interest in him. That completely threw him off, and he couldn’t think of something to say quick enough, because he’d already been staring at her blankly for a good few minutes.

“Um, Remus?”

“Oh, no, yeah, no I can’t I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t like you or anything it’s just well you’re really not my type. Not that there’s anything wrong with you in my eyes.” Smooth, Remus, real smooth. Despite the massive hole he was effortlessly digging himself, his mind just kept egging him on. “What I mean is well, my date is a boy because I like boys because I’m gay.” It was extremely fortunate that they were out of earshot of anybody because that was something Remus did not want people to know. Not that he cared much, but because people would begin to pry, then find out about him and Sirius and then Sirius would go apeshit and Remus can’t deal with a Sirius tantrum on normal terms never mind if he’d caused it. “Please, Dorcas, don’t tell anybody. I’m sorry about this, I’m just not used to people liking me, is all.”

Dorcas just smiled and patted Remus’ arm somewhat awkwardly. “You can trust me, Remus.” She then walked away hurriedly while Remus turned to the wall and slammed his face into it dramatically; he’d been spending too much time with his idiot boyfriend. 

…………………………….

The next morning found the four marauders sitting at dinner, with the usual banter mulling about, until James turned to Remus and grinned. “So I hear you’ve got a hot date at Hogsmeade, Remus? Care to share who the lucky… guy… is?”

Remus immediately felt his cheeks warm up and Sirius’ eyes bore into him and he was kicked softly under the table. “Can you say that a bit louder, James? I don’t think they heard you in China!” He whispered harshly, making James chuckle but lower his voice.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, mate. I don’t have a problem where you put your dick, as long as it’s not in Lily. In fact, that only means one less competitor if anything. So, who is it? Is he in Gryffindor? Please tell it isn’t Snape, because that I would be disgusted by.”

“Oh please I have standards, besides I respect that he’s more your type.” He received a quick slap across the head for that. “And yes he is in Gryffindor, he’s just not all too open about it, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t spread it around. How did you find out anyway?”

“Lily told me that Mary told her that Dorcas told her that she asked you out and you just blurted out your gayness all over her and said that you said you had a date.”

“That little… she said she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“That’s girls for you, mate. To be honest with you though, I’m hurt that you couldn’t just tell me and I had to hear it through the grapevine. At least Sirius just told me outright.”

Remus stopped for a second and turned to Sirius, trying not to let his emotion come through too soon. “What now?”

“Oh, he didn’t…? Oh Sirius I’m sorry I thought you know, you would have told him. Well at least you’re not alone in this, right?”

Remus turned his gaze back to James. “Caradoc Dearborn.” He watched as Sirius visibly paled at the mention of the guy Remus had made out with before Sirius. He’d only made out with him mind, a few hand jobs here and there, but Sirius had grown to hate Caradoc for taking sexual pleasure from his little Moony that should only have been his. He’d only found out his lifetime crush on Remus had been returned after walking into the two in a broom closet with Caradoc’s tongue down Remus’ throat. Remus had ran after him and apologised about everything, about being gay and ruining friendship and whatever else he was going to say until Sirius had pushed him against the wall and kissed him. They’d been dating ever since. 

“Wow, he’s not a bad looking guy Remus. Go you! Hey, maybe you can get one of his pals to take Sirius out.”

“Oh I’m fucking sure they’d love to.” He then stood up abruptly and walked out of the hall, and straight back to the dorms to gather his things and get ready for his first lesson.

“What’s up with him?” James asked, a little worried, but a little amused at the same time.”

Sirius looked down guiltily, and jabbed his leftover food, deciding he wasn’t all that hungry for breakfast any more. “No idea.”

…………………………….

When History of magic came about, Sirius sat next to Remus as per their normal arrangement and suffered through a long two hours of being blatantly ignored. When Remus pushed past him and practically ran from the door, he knew he had to do something. He quickly went after Remus, and managed to pull him into a little alcove behind a wall of cloth. 

“Remus I-“

“Fucking save it.”

“I’m sorry, I never meant-“

“Fuck you, Sirius. Here I am thinking ‘oh it’s okay he’s just not ready to come out, not everybody’s ready to embrace it’ thinking you’re just scared to admit you’re gay, but here we are. The fact of the matter is that you’re ashamed that I’m your boyfriend and that’s just-“

“Moony, no I’m not ashamed of you, I love you it’s just that-“

“Don’t call me Moony.”

“What?”

“My name is Remus. I’m nothing more than Remus to you, because we’re obviously just friends. Acquaintances if you will.”

Sirius felt a lump in his throat. “Are you… Are you breaking up with me?”

Remus’ eyes went wide for a second before he took a deep breath. “No, I’m not, I’m just angry at you right now. No, don’t pout and go all watery eyed on me, you bastard. I just can’t fucking believe that all this time he knew you were gay and I couldn’t say a word. I had to pretend that I liked girls and talked about boobs and shit while he fucking knew. If you weren’t afraid of telling him you’re gay then you just don’t want to tell him you’re with me and quite frankly I don’t like that. If this is just a fling to you then tell me because I’m already too far gone to hate you, so you might as well lay it on me now.”

Sirius hesitated for a few minutes before pulling Remus into a hug and rubbing his back as he heard him start to cry. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Remus. I do love you. I love you very much, but you’ve seen how unreliable James is. If he let word get by of us seeing each other then my family would have you thrown out of school for being a werewolf and I couldn’t handle not seeing you again. Please, Remus you have to believe me I love you so fucking much.”

“More than you love James?” Came the muffled question from his shoulder.

“Questionable…” Remus pushed him back, staring at him grumpily. “I’m kidding. Yes, more that James. But me and James have a brotherly love. Besides he knows I fancy you if that makes any difference. He only found out I was queer because he heard me say your name when I was wanking.” 

Remus tried to supress his chuckle at that and failed terribly, seeing the scarred look that passed across Sirius’ face. “That’s so… you. You should have told me, though. Now I’m morally obligated to go on a date with Caradoc Dearborn.”

“Just say he changed his mind or something.”

“Oh no I’m going. Didn’t think you were getting away with this deception that easy, did you? Hell no. I’m going on that date and you’re going to watch me drape myself all over him and whisper dirty things in his ear and slip a cheeky hand down his trousers-“

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me Black.”

“I’m sure I can persuade you not to.”

“And just how are you going to do that?”

“Well I’ll show you right now just what you’ll be missing out on.”

“We’ve already missed the first half of third lesson so,” Remus shrugged, “you can give it your best shot I suppose.”

“You cheeky tart I am the god of sex.”

“I’ve had better.”

“Please. Nobody has had your tight little arse except me.”

“I could say the same about you, Pads. Besides there’s more to pleasuring a man than sticking your cock up his arse.”

“Care to demonstrate?”

“Gladly…” Remus replied as he got down on his knees. How it turned into Remus giving Sirius head he’ll never know, but he wasn’t going to stop for anything.


	2. The Date

After three nights of I’m-sorry-I-love-you-don’t-hate-me sex from Sirius, Remus was prepared to go on his date with Caradoc Dearborn. He had dressed in his usual weekend comfort clothes, Sirius’ old, worn t shirt under a white fluffy jumper so no one could see and some black skinny jeans that Sirius had bought him, claiming his arse looked ‘positively divine’ in them, but Remus also found them bizarrely comfortable for going out in. Not that he’d get to wear them too long inside with Sirius around a lot of the time. He was then complete with a pair of converse (that he had bought with his own hard saved for money thank you very much).

He was sat on a carriage with James, Lily and Sirius crammed into one side, much to James’ displeasure. When asked why he wanted to come, he’d told James that Remus needed looking out for, because he was frail and delicate and perfect have you seen his skin James?? It’s so soft and pale and it needs to be protected. James reluctantly let Sirius come along, even if it did decrease the chances of getting a kiss from Lily tenfold. 

When they were all seated, Remus and Dearborn hand in hand, Sirius cleared his throat. “So, Carmichael, how’s quidditch going? I hear you’re somewhat good at that.”

Ignoring the blatant wrongness of his name, Caradoc simply smiled smugly at Sirius, not being fully informed as to why he was currently on a date with his ex- what exactly? He didn’t know. But Remus wasn’t a bad looking guy, so this wasn’t really any bother, especially if he got a good fuck from it, which he wouldn’t, but what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. “Well, I’m certainly good at it. Better than you at any rate Black.”

Sirius clicked his tongue. “I wouldn’t be so sure, mate. Certainly got a lot more experience on the field than you, not bragging or anything.”

Remus sighed at the obvious switch in conversation topic, even if James and Lily didn’t quite know what was happening. “You’ve seen me playing the field first hand, Sirius. You know how good I am.”

Sirius just made raised an eyebrow. “I’ve only ever caught a glimpse, really, and I can’t say I’ve seen you doing anything noteworthy since. Me on the other hand, I get practice almost everyday.”

Caradoc glared at Sirius angrily. “Hang on a minute, you’re talking about-“ Caradoc was cut off abruptly as Remus slammed his lips into his and pulled the hair at the back of his head so he could deepen it and make him shut up. Eventually, he kissed back, dominating as always and looked directly at the raging Sirius as he continued to kiss Remus.

When they pulled away from each other, Remus was blushed red with shame and anger from having been put in that situation. He avoided looking at Sirius who was pouting and staring at a smugly smirking Dearborn. They were silent for the rest of the ride, creating an awkward atmosphere that James was quite frankly scared to try to talk through. 

When they got to Hogsmeade, Remus said he wanted to go to the bookshop, and had his date follow him closely with Sirius standing in the snow with Lily and James with a pout and his arms crossed. James stood in front of him, blocking his view to Remus and just sighed. “Mate, if you don’t want Remus to find out about, you know…” He couldn’t really say much on account of Lily being there and not knowing, “then you can’t behave like that. I know it hurts man but you’ll be okay.”

“I can’t do it any more, James.” 

“What are you talking about, Padfoot?” 

“I can’t live like this. I can’t keep lying to you.” Sirius looked James in the eyes with the most sincere expression James had ever seen him wear. “Me and Remus are… we’re together. We have been for the past nearly two years and I love him and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think that I was going to screw him around because that’s what you seem to think and I kind of wanted him and this thing all to ourselves for as long as possible because no matter what happens, he’s my escape, you know? I can always come back to his arms and he’s not ashamed of me, and I hurt his feelings by telling you I was gay and not in a relationship with him and he got mad at me and went on this date and James I can’t watch that absolute fucking douchebag kiss him like that! Did you see? Did you see the way he looked at me while they were snogging, James? Did you?!” 

Sirius had James’ face in his hands, staring at him wide eyed and furious while James chuckled. “I saw. That was a dick move, you’re right, but you can’t let it happen again. I’m glad that you’ve told me, too.”

“I can’t just run in after him though I mean I even lied when I told him about why I didn’t tell you. I told him it was because I thought you were a big blabber mouth and you would get him kicked out even though that’s very not true and if I went after him, Caradoc really would tell the whole school, not that I care, but it would beak down that very beautifully constructed lie that I’ve made for myself.”

James then took Sirius’ hands off him and placed his hands on Sirius’ face and brought htem almost nose to nose and gave him a determined and serious look. “You will go into that bookshop. You will punch that bastard in the face. You will grab your boyfriend and snog him senselss right there in front of everybody then you will com eout her and I will congratulate you both on your new found happiness, is that clear?”

“Very.”

“Right. Go!”

James then pushed Sirius towards the bookshop and turned to look at a stunned Lily, who was trying very hard not to let how much she loved James show in that moment. “I’m not always the dickhead you think I am Lily, honestly…”

“You know what, you’re not half bad, Potter. I mean, considering you just told Sirius to punch a guy in the face.”

“We all have to make sacrifices for love.”

They were suddenly interrupted in their nice conversation by Sirius hurtling towards them, Remus in tow. “You can congratulate me now, if you want?” He shouted to James as they ran past them, Caradoc Dearborn and a very pissed off shop owner at their heels. 

“Well done, mate!” James shouted to Sirius’ retreating form.

“There’s been worse first dates, I guess.” Lily said from James’ side, bring their hands together. 

“Thanks for the enthusiasm.”

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU BLACK!” Came a shout from behind James and Lily as they walked away to Honeydukes. All in all it wasn’t a bad day.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to tell me if Iv'e made any mistakes. The next chapter will be the date :)


End file.
